Four Ways to Avoid Interfaith Wedding Drama
This post with my advice for planning the interfaith wedding of your dreams first appeared on Offbeat Bride.
2. Find a wedding officiant (or two!) who is thrilled to conduct your interfaith ceremony.I can’t tell you how many couples have told me that rabbi after rabbi have turned them down because they were having an interfaith marriage, or didn’t want to commit to raising their kids Jewish, or wanted a wedding to be co-officiated from someone of another faith. The list goes on and on… What I say to all that: ignore and proceed! You know that you are marrying the love of your life, and that it is absolutely the right decision. And you should never be made to feel second best because of who you fell in love with. There are plenty of people who are thrilled to officiate interfaith marriages, and you should choose someone who affirms your choice and will work with you to create the wedding ceremony of your dreams.
3. Be creative!
Your wedding is the opportunity to create the perfect ceremony that celebrates YOUR love and the blending of your cultures. Ask your wedding officiant for ideas and explore them together with your partner. Get ready to be seriously wowed by this three-part San Diego-meets-Niger interfaith wedding. It was horribly sidelined by a tragedy in the family, but they... Read more Include poems that you like. Pick and choose from the religious traditions that are meaningful to you. Decide if you’d like to use any traditional ritual objects and find artists who can adapt them to reflect your aesthetics and your wedding. Or you can choose to DIY and create your own ritual objects or decorations that reflect your style and your love.
4. Have *all* the important conversations before your wedding.
- How would you want to raise kids, if you want to have them?
- Which holidays do you want to celebrate and how?
- How will you navigate difficult decisions and ensure that both of you feel heard and understood?
- Who will you both turn to for advice and support when things get tough?
- Do you have friends who have an interfaith relationship that you admire, who can give you any guidance?
Like what you read and hungry for more? Check out my interview with interfaith wedding Rabbi Dan Gruber here and sign up for our email list below!